Time to split

Q: What do you get if Batman and Robin get smashed by a steam roller?
A: Flatman and ribbon.
Q: When is a car not a car?
A: When it turns into a garage.
Q: How much do pirates pay for their earrings?
A: a Buccaneer!
Q: Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?
A: He wanted to win the No-bell prize.
Q: Why did the atoms cross the road?
A: It was time to split!
Q: What do you do when your chair breaks?
A: Call a Chairman.
Q: Why do eskimos wash their clothes in tide?
A: Because it's too cold out tide!
Q: What kind of car does Luke Skywalker drive?
A: a Toy-yoda.
Q: What is the biggest pencil in the world?
A: Pennsylvania.
Q: Why did the boy blush when he opened the fridge?
A: He saw the salad dressing!

Quick Fire

Q: What do monsters make with cars?
A: Traffic Jam
Q: What do you call the elephant witch doctor?
A: Mumbo Jumbo
Q: Why did the pony cough?
A: He was a little hoarse!
Q: What do sheep do on sunny days?
A: Have a baa - baa - cue!
Q: How do you know when a dog has been naughty?
A: It leaves a little poodle on the carpet!
Q: Where do Aliens keep their sandwiches?
A: In a Launch box
Q: What do you call the pub on Mars?
A: A Mars Bar!
Q: Why did the spaceship land outside your bedroom?
A: I must have left the landing light on
Q: What do you call a vampire that lives in the kitchen?
A: Spatula!
Q: Why couldn't the skeleton go to the dance?
A: He had no body to go with!