A man just got out of surgery and was still in the hospital lying in bed with a breathing machine attached to his mouth. A nurse walks in and checks the breathing machine and makes sure every thing is functioning correctly.
The man says, "Excuse me, nurse. Are my testicles black?"
The nurse looks confused and says, "Excuse me?"
The man says again, "Are my testicles black?"
So the nurse pulls down the covers of the bed, lifts the man's hospital gown and carefully inspects his testicles. When she's done she says, "Nothing seems to be wrong with them and they're definitely not black."
The man smiles, pulls the breathing machine away from his mouth and says, "Thank you, that was nice, but I was asking 'Are my test results back?'"
Monday, June 9, 2008
Honey,darling,pumpkin
A man was invited to a friend’s home for dinner, where he noticed that his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms, calling her Honey, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, and so forth. He was impressed at this, since the couple had been married over 50 years.
While the wife was in the kitchen, he said, “I think it’s wonderful that after all these years you still call your wife those cute little pet names.”
His buddy hung his head. “To tell you the truth, I forgot her name about 10 years ago.”
While the wife was in the kitchen, he said, “I think it’s wonderful that after all these years you still call your wife those cute little pet names.”
His buddy hung his head. “To tell you the truth, I forgot her name about 10 years ago.”
Women and bull
A man takes his wife to the county livestock show, and they head down the aisle that houses the bulls. The sign on the first stall states, THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR.
The wife turns to her husband and says, “He mated 50 times in a year. Isn’t that nice!” After passing a bull that had mated 65 times, she grinningly quips, “You could learn from this one!”
They reach the last bull, whose ownder is stroking the massive beast’s head. “How many times has your bull mated this year?” asks the wife.
“This here’s the pride of the County: 365 times, ma’am.”
The wife’s jaw drops, and she turns to her husband. “Wow! You could really learn from this one. You should ask him what his secret is!”
The fed-up man turns to the breeder and says, “Hey, was it all with the same cow?”
The wife turns to her husband and says, “He mated 50 times in a year. Isn’t that nice!” After passing a bull that had mated 65 times, she grinningly quips, “You could learn from this one!”
They reach the last bull, whose ownder is stroking the massive beast’s head. “How many times has your bull mated this year?” asks the wife.
“This here’s the pride of the County: 365 times, ma’am.”
The wife’s jaw drops, and she turns to her husband. “Wow! You could really learn from this one. You should ask him what his secret is!”
The fed-up man turns to the breeder and says, “Hey, was it all with the same cow?”
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